


Mistletoe Can Be Deadly if You Eat It

by Fairfaxleasee



Series: Fenris/Cassia [9]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Autism Spectrum, F/M, Fade to Black, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28030131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fairfaxleasee/pseuds/Fairfaxleasee
Summary: Fenris helps Hawke seize an opportunity.Set in Act 3 after doing Fenris's personal questline.
Relationships: Fenris/Female Hawke
Series: Fenris/Cassia [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141970
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Mistletoe Can Be Deadly if You Eat It

_ Almost...there...Just a bit...more… _

The tips of Cassia Hawke’s fingers grazed their target but despite being balanced on her toes she still couldn’t manage to get a grip on it.

_ Fuck. If I were just a smidge taller… _

“Hey! I know you, you’re that Champion lady, right?”

Cass coughed as the stench from the man’s breath invaded her nostrils in as much of an offence as his invasion of her personal space. She had no idea who this drunk idiot was. She couldn’t be sure she hadn’t met him, most of the people she’d apparently met over the years left absolutely no impression on her, but even if she had, she still had no idea who the man currently leaning far too close to her was.

Cass's first instinct upon encountering an idiot was to ignore it until it wandered away and became someone else's problem. Unfortunately, over a year spent living with her uncle had taught her that an idiot, sufficiently drunk, simply would not be ignored. Meaning if she wanted to be left alone, which she did, she would actually have to interact, no matter how much she didn't want to.

“Not interested, go away.”

Cass shooed him away and began to turn from him but he grabbed her wrist. She flinched at the contact and yanked it out of his grip.

“Aww, come on now, don’t be like that. Here, I’ll buy you a drink.”

_ Did I fucking stutter or something? _

“Do you want it slower or louder,” she cupped her hands over her mouth, “NOT...INTERESTED...GO...AWAY.”

But neither slower nor louder seemed to be getting through to the man. He reached out for her again.

_ I fucking hate this damn bar… _

Nothing good ever seemed to happen in the Hanged Man, or at least nothing good ever seemed to happen around Cass in the Hanged Man, although given the amount of not good things that happened around her everywhere else maybe it really wasn’t the bar’s fault. Still, she usually avoided going in if she had a viable alternative, but Fenris had come here to play Wicked Grace. 

“You can come and not play, Cass,” he had offered before he left.

But after what had happened the last time she had played the game, the only time she had played it, she couldn’t stand the idea of even being near a game. She had frozen up, every muscle tense and lept away from him. She hadn’t been able to articulate a response, she had barely been able to vehemently shake her head at the thought.

“Should I stay?”

The amount of concern in his question had been a shock to Cass. She hadn’t thought she had been that upset, it was so stupid that the idea of a Wicked Grace game could upset her so much. She reached up to her neck and ran the pads of her fingers, but not her nails, along it. She would  _ not _ let herself ruin this for him, but if she couldn’t be stable, or at least  _ present _ stable, she knew he wouldn’t leave her. She closed her eyes, set her feet, bit her lip, and shook her head. She had been able to feel his gaze on her, weighing her communicated refusal against subtler cues she had never been able to see and didn’t understand. She focused on trying to make sure her breathing was under control.

“As long as you’re sure.”

She had opened her eyes slightly as she nodded.

“Alright, I’ll see you later tonight then.”

She had panicked a bit when she caught the vague impression of movement in her peripheral vision that was him turning to leave. She rushed over and grabbed one of his sleeves.

“Cass?” he had been trying to catch her gaze and had placed a hand on her jaw to coax her face towards his.

She hadn’t wanted to stop him leaving, she just wanted to know when he would be back. Unfortunately her throat still wasn’t working. She shook her head to stall for time until she could make her feet move. As soon as she could, she led him to the fireplace and pointed to the clock on the mantle.

“Ah,” he smiled slightly, “I’ll be back by nine.”

She nodded before dropping his sleeve.

“I’ll see you later, Cass.”

Another nod. She hadn't trusted herself to put up a convincing smile. She really had been fine with him going, she just hadn't been happy about it. She wasn't about to demand that everything he do make her happy, but no matter how many times she got herself worked up for such stupid,  _ stupid  _ reasons he kept being concerned for her, and when he was concerned for her, he'd stay with her until he was convinced she was happy. She was never going to  _ be _ happy about it, but she'd have been even less happy if one of her ridiculous,  _ pathetic  _ episodes made him miss his game, so she'd made sure not to try and stretch the truth.

She still wasn't quite sure what to do with his continued concern for something as generally irrelevant, and frankly inherently unstable, as her emotional well-being. She'd never encountered anyone who had been so invested in her before. Or at least, she’d never encountered anyone invested in her the way she was and not as something they could mold into what they wanted or as something that was fit for a particular purpose and otherwise immaterial. She just wasn’t used to it.

She also wasn’t used to being so invested back. She had a few friends, they were fine, she liked them well enough, but she could be fine without them, and they’d be just fine without her. She doubted she could be fine without Fenris. Before him, outside of him, she hadn’t ever really connected so transindentally with anyone. She’d had no idea just how nice it could be to be around someone who made things better just by being there, who cared about her-not what she could be or what she could do, who she loved like she was  _ supposed  _ to love someone-in a way that didn’t hurt, that gave her wings instead of weighing her down. To be fair, she’d had  _ some _ idea something like this was possible, her parents (for reasons she couldn’t fathom) seemed to care about each other and there was Aveline and Donnic. She knew this was something other people could have, could hope for or aspire to, she just never thought that there would be someone who would be able to look past everything that was wrong with her. And that she could miss so profoundly that any time apart was too much time apart.

Of course, the fact that she couldn’t stop herself from missing Fenris when she wanted him to be around was how she had gotten herself into this particular mess. By the time she had calmed down enough to remember what time was, it had been 8:25. She knew that if Fenris had said he’d be back by 9, he'd be back by 9, but the 5 minutes she had already spent watching the clock had taken far too long for her to just sit around and wait the last half hour at her house, so she had decided to wait for him at the bar where she could at least see him. As much as she hated the Hanged Man, it was where Fenris was, and right now she just wanted to be where Fenris was.

She did, however, wish that where Fenris was were somewhere that drunken reprobates like the one currently lurching at her weren’t. She grabbed his hand and pressed on the pressure point by his thumb.

“Fucking bitch!”

“Leave. Me. Alone. Understand?” 

She let go and turned away from him.

“Andraste’s ass, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

_ You. You are what’s wrong with me just at the moment. _

She felt him push her from behind.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, you little bitch!”

She reached into a concealed pocket and took out the harpy knife she kept there. She flicked it open, prepared to let it drive home the point her words were failing to at the next push. But it never came. Something that probably had to do with the familiar voice that snarled at the oaf.

“You were told to leave her alone. You’re not going to be told again.”

She turned around. Fenris had the man pinned against a wall holding him there with a forearm over his throat.

“Ain’t you that elf what can rip people’s hearts out?”

“Yes. Yes, I am.”

“Maker’s breath, whatever, take her-dog lord pussy ain’t worth this…”

Fenris looked at Cass over his shoulder. He met her eyes quickly to address her before shifting his gaze back to the oaf in a glare. “Should I make him apologize?”

“Make him gone.”

“As you say.”

He grabbed the man’s shirt and half-shoved half-tossed him back into the general crowd of the bar and away from Cass. She vaguely heard some laughter from some of the other patrons but Fenris was all she wanted to focus on.

Still, something kept her from being able to focus on him too long and she shifted her eyes away as she muttered, "I had it under control "

"I'm sure you did. But I'm also sure that there are better ways to spend the rest of the evening than explaining to Aveline just how he came to be missing several body parts."

“It’s not like I would have taken any  _ important _ ones!”

“Hmmmm...debatable.”

“Honestly, why is it that I’M the one who killed the Arishok and YOU’RE the one everyone is afraid of?”

“Because most people, and especially most drunk people, aren’t smart enough to appreciate why they should be afraid of you.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault?”

“Hardly,” he walked to her and reached a hand out for her cheek. She leaned down into his touch and he raised his hand so their eyes were level again before rubbing his thumb on her cheekbone. “They merely lack perspective.”

“Hmm…”

“You didn’t have to come down here, Cass. I told you when I’d be back, didn’t I?”

She turned away from the question.

“Are you...mad?”

_ Stupid, stupid, STUPID. Shouldn’t have come, now he’s going to think I was checking up on him or something. _

“No. I just know you don’t really like it here.”

“I don’t. It’s loud and it smells and it’s full of idiots, but I missed you, and I-”

He was grinning at her.

“Hey! Don’t laugh at that, that’s not a good thing!”

“Hm. You’re right, that’s not a good thing. But I admit to being slightly flattered by it.”

His grin was even wider.

“You! You’re not going to let me hear the end of this, are you?”

“Probably not. Depends on how nicely you ask.”

She huffed and pouted at him. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say that was asking nicely, but it is rather adorable.”

“I am not adorable!” she stomped a foot for emphasis.

He inclined his head slightly to her and kept grinning.

“Fine! Be that way! See if I ever miss you again!”

“Cassia, I know you can do better than empty threats.”

She pouted harder; he grinned wider. Cass was clearly not going to get anywhere on this particular thread.

“How’d you know I was over here anyway? You were pretty engrossed in the game.”

Fenris stopped grinning and glared in the direction of the table where Varric, Isabela, Merrill, Anders, and Donnic were still playing.

“Anders spotted you. I believe his exact words were, ‘Aren’t you embarrassed to be over here losing spectacularly when your girlfriend’s alone under the mistletoe waiting for somebody better?’”

Cass leaned towards him and ran a finger along the edge of one of his ears.

“Don’t worry,” he whispered to her, “I know he was just saying that to get to me. But I was done playing anyway.”

Cass looked up at the mistletoe she had been reaching for before she was so rudely interrupted. “Can you reach it?” she asked.

Fenris followed her gaze. “I think so. Why?”

“I want it.”

Fenris looked at her in confusion, “Why?”

“No one will sell me any. Don’t know why.”

“Aveline.”

“People are more afraid of  _ Aveline _ than me?”

Fenris chuckled, “Again, most people can easily understand why they should be afraid of Aveline.”

Cass went back to pouting. Fenris brushed some hair out of her face and let his hand rest on the side of her head.

“Cass, it may take more effort to understand you than other people, but you’re worth it.”

Cass nodded. There was a time she would have argued that, even now she thought it represented Fenris’s personal opinion rather than objective, verifiable fact, but still-he believed it, and he made her believe it. She grabbed the wrist beside her face.

He smiled at her. “But you still haven’t told me what you want the mistletoe for.”

“I want it to have in case Gamlin decides to invite himself over for dinner again.”

“You want to poison your uncle with mistletoe?”

“No, if I wanted to poison him I’d use something that could plausibly have been used by the Carta. I just want to make him stop deciding he wants to eat dinner with us.”

“I’m fairly certain the dead don’t make dinner plans.”

“Ugh, I don’t want to kill him, I just want to make him think twice about what I might serve him! You know my uncle…”

“Unfortunately.”

“If he sees ANYTHING on his plate that he doesn’t immediately recognize, it’s ‘What the blazes is this, girl? Are you trying to kill me?’ and usually the answer is ‘No, that is a perfectly normal ingredient that just isn’t meat, cheese or bread,’ but if I put the mistletoe on his plate, I can say that while I’m not  _ trying _ to kill him, eating that  _ could _ kill him but it is a rather festive garnish, although given something that can be deadly if you eat it ended up on a plate maybe I should think of moving my supplies to a different shelf in the kitchen.”

“And what if you’re wrong and he eats it?”

“Then ‘Oh darn I must have accidentally grabbed the wrong thing when I wasn’t looking.’”

“...is that why you made rosemary pickles and dill bread that time Aveline and Donnic came over?”

“That would lay a fairly solid foundation for me not paying too much attention when I’m cooking sometimes.”

“And what if you’re right and it doesn’t stop him?”

“Then you get to come up with the next plan. But it has to be something that can look like an accident, and there’s still no way he could accidentally crush his own heart!”

“What if he tripped?”

“No! Now are you going to get that or not?”

Fenris reached up and was able to just grab onto the small branch. He pulled down on it to snap the thread it was hanging from but kept it raised above their heads. Cass reached up to take it from him, but just before she would have touched it he pulled it away from her.

“Hey! Are you going to give that to me or not?” 

Cass snatched at the plant but Fenris was keeping it just out of her reach.

“I will. But I did catch you under the mistletoe, you know.”

Cass flushed and backed away from him.

“I...I know. But you want... _ here _ ?”

She glanced around the bar nervously. It didn’t look like anyone was paying overmuch attention to them, yet. But still, the thought of making a spectacle of herself by kissing him, or anyone, in a bar around so many strangers made her deeply uncomfortable. It also made her skin burn when she remembered how forward she had been with him here already. She just did not like public displays of affection; did not like seeing them, did not like doing them. The connection she had with Fenris was special. It was between them. It was for them. She didn’t want anybody else involved in it, but if they started carrying on here, in front of so many people, she couldn’t legitimately argue it was none of their business. Not after she would have made it their business.

Of course part of her thought it was unforgivibly stupid that it mattered so much to her. He was only asking for a kiss, the idea of kissing the man she loved, who loved her back, shouldn’t make her uncomfortable no matter the circumstances. But she just couldn’t shake the fear that someone would see her happy, decide she didn’t deserve it, and take everything away.

Fenris looked around too. He guided her back to the corner and positioned himself so she was out of anyone’s view. He waited for her to meet his eyes before he spoke.

“Cass, I never  _ don’t _ want you-near me, with me,  _ with  _ me. But only if you feel safe doing it. Only if you really, freely want it too.”

She shut her eyes. She could tell he wanted to reach out to her; touch her; embrace her; hold her; reassure her. And she wanted to  _ let _ him...she just couldn’t do it  _ here _ .

Instead she opened her eyes and met his gaze again as she whispered, “I want to go  _ home _ .”

He smiled and held out the mistletoe to her, “Then let’s go.”

She pushed it back to his chest, “You can give it to me later.”

He raked his gaze over her, taking in every part of her. She whimpered. His eyes were a poor substitute for what she wanted taking all of her. He grabbed her and they rushed from the bar back to Hightown.

It was the only time Cass ever wished she lived closer to the Hanged Man.

  
  
  
  



End file.
